There’s no doubt that mobile phones have changed the way people behave in relationships. With a click, you can find a date easily. With a tap, you can connect with your spouse who’s on the other side of the world.
But, of course, there are downsides. You’re more vulnerable to being insecure about your relationship, seeing all the happy couples on Instagram. It’s easier to rekindle an old flame online and spark infidelity. Perhaps the most troubling of all, which all people are guilty of, is being so caught up in the virtual world that you literally ignore your significant other in real life. Phubbing, which came from the words phone and snubbing, is what it’s called. According to studies, it can trigger so many relationship problems.
A Real Relationship Killer
Being distracted by a smartphone, perhaps, will be the last thing on your mind when someone asks you about a common source of conflict in relationships. But, apparently, this could very well be a trigger for intimacy issues. At least, according to this study from Baylor University. The results of their research show that people who were phubbed or ignored by their partner who’s distracted by their phones experience less satisfaction in their relationship. This increases feelings of depression. It reduces the well-being of that person. It strains how couples interact with each other, as a result.
The real dilemma in phubbing is that partners are almost always unaware that they do it. Glancing at your phone, reading that most recent Facebook comment, and scrolling through the timeline seem harmless. It’s not so much of a big deal. We inadvertently do it over at dinner dates or at pillow talks. If you don’t catch yourself, it can lead to a downward spiral of emotional distance and communication breakdown over time. In the case of marriages, it can inevitably result in divorce. A nasty divorce, at that, since there will be guilt-tripping and finger-pointing. If you’re in this situation, your chance at a good, reasonable settlement with your soon-to-be-ex lies in the hands of an experienced family lawyer in Denver, CO.
How Phubbing Looks Like
As mentioned, phubbing is a habit people do unintentionally. To fix this bad practice, you need to be aware of just how it looks like in a real-life setting. One glaring example of phubbing is glancing on your phone while eating with your partner. You’re not expecting any important texts or calls, but your hands just automatically reach for the phone. A variation of this is using your phone to document everything, snapping pics of the food you ordered or the restaurant you went to for your date, without acknowledging your date themselves.
Another example is responding to social media notifications as they make those tiny beeps. You trail off when finishing a sentence or lose your focus on what your partner was saying. If you use your phone during lulls in your conversation, that’s phubbing, too. Simply because there are no words exchanged doesn’t mean you’re not communicating. In those moments of silence, your partner may be expressing joy, worry, sadness, or love through facial expressions or body language. You miss those when you’re bent over your smartphone.
Who knew phones can break marriages, right? If you let them, they’ll create emotional distance between you and your partner. It’s time to ask yourself then, how’s your relationship with your spouse, considering your relationship with your smartphone?
